[/caption]Yes, This guy. My wonderful boyf. I'm waiting for him to done packing his house but I don't feel like sleeping & suddenly had this sudden emotions within me. This will be a lengthy post. Don't like it then close the window. Thanks
This guy, Chan Jin Kai Noel, 20. 3 months older than me but he always think that he looks younger than me and he don't like it. LOL. He wants me to look more like a small girl instead of looking like a lady. I knew him since I was 12. Or rather I knew his existence when I was 11 then through a middle friend we knew each other's name & phone number. It was on our graduation night that we got introduced to each other. Started texting but whenever he call I never pick up, when he asked for a meetup I always reject. I remember there's this once when I was alr in sec school, & went back to visit my pri sch, he knew about it & told me his coming over. When I knew he was on his way, I left the school because I didn't want to meet him. At that time we were kinda like "together" But we were only 13. "Broke up" awhile later and lost contact because my reason for the "break up" was quite heartless. Shan't talk about that.
Every year I text him to wish him happy birthday. I don't know why I'm doing that perhaps maybe fate is playing a joke on us at first. 4 years later, fate decided to pull us back together. Chatted on friendster when I wrote him a testimonial then msn then through sms. On that particular day, I was heart broken, hurt & was crying, he called and try all means to cheer me up. Met me the next day at the train station to accompany me to work. That was the first time I really meet him & really talk to him face to face after so many years. That day we sat at the platform, letting 2 trains passed us as they were fully packed & there's this auntie complaining about it. Then the 3rd one came, we have to squeeze in or I'll be late for work. So we squeezed in and first time ever, he hugged me in order to not let me fall. Walked me to my workplace & had breakfast there where all my colleagues started making fun of us. Before he leave, he gave me a kiss. Our first kiss. 10 Jan 2008. Two days later bby decided to ask me to be his girlfriend. We've been through that before it wasn't the first time for him to ask me to be his girlfriend. Then we were 12, 4 years later we were 16 going 17. It was a quick chase for bby. Maybe because I know the only way to forget the previous one is to give myself a chance to let someone into my heart. On 12 Jan 2008 that was our day.
Everything started smoothly like all my other relationships. When I was with bby, I thought that maybe he's just like the other guys, they have their fun alr then dump me. But I guess I just have to take another risk in order to know whether bby is just like them. That time bby was a cheerful boy with lots of friends around him. He told me that he will not leave his friends for me neither will he leave me for his friends. He wants both to be balance because his friends and I were equally important to him. When we just started, we don't meet everyday and sometimes he gives me surprises by appearing at my workplace when he say he wasn't coming because he's busy with his friends. Every relationship started with a sweet beginning. As time passes esp when I started poly, things changed. Bby became very possessive towards me esp when he know someone is after me. We quarrelled many times over this and almost broke up but we did not. Then bby's temper got worse and that's when things gone bad.
Finally I got sick of all the quarrellings & broke up with him to let myself be with someone which I thought would be better. But never did I realise how much bby had invaded my heart & life. Even though we were apart, we still talk on the phone every night in order for me to fall asleep. During the period of our break up, bby lost his appetite, stay in his room everyday & he slim down. I know it was hard for me & every night I read his blog, I cry but still I told myself to not give him a second chance. At sometime, bby stop contacting his friends, stop going out with them because he came to school everyday to wait for me. But during the break up they contacted him again. This first break up was a total disaster. It not only broke both our hearts, it also hurt bby physically. Then bby was with someone else when I broke up with mine. He insist on being with that girl that really broke my heart so badly. Worse than the previous guy that broke mine. I never knew bby meant so much to me. I cried, I cut, I hurt myself in every way trying to lessen the pain that I feel within. But it did not help at all. Finally I couldn't hold on any longer & broke down in front of my parents which I know it really broke their hearts so much so that they agreed to let bby be with me in order to not lose their daughter. I was like a third party for sometime until bby harden his heart to leave that girl & come back to me. Second year was quite a bad one because there were many breaking up and getting back together. But yes, we still lasted to the third year & still counting on.
Bby is one guy that really change my life. I'm a girl that is very realistic & sometimes materialistic. I prefer to see things happen than just talking and no actions. Not that I like branded or anything but still I prefer more expensive stuff because to me expensive=good quality. So I'm kinda like a high maintenance girl that not much people can afford. Even dad & mum complaints about how I spend money and everything. But bby still goes on like that, trying to satisfy me with my wants & needs without complaining. Putting me in first place, getting everything I want and not anything he wants. All he think of is how to make me happy and that's all. This is how wonderful my boyf is. Being such realistic girl, I need my boyf to be either rich or hardworking. But bby is none of the above. Still, I stick with him knowing that maybe someday I might regret & I might be suffering. But somehow I just think that I shouldn't depend on bby too much instead I should depend on myself. I know bby is trying his best now & he will definitely not let me suffer in future if we really are going somewhere.
For now, I will just enjoy the process and not think of the result. Process is always the one that make the life more fulfilling. Bby, I love you, and I will for the rest of my life. You're the one for me, like what pris say. Even if you were to ride a bicycle next time, I will still follow you. Or maybe is like what you say, when I see you riding a bicycle I get angry & walk away but you;ll still follow me. Which ever way, we'll still be together. ❤