Hmmm . I finally found him on Facebook. It's like after so long. Since the end of Sec3, which is 2006 I totally lost everything that can allow me to keep in contact with him. Remember how I knew him in Sec1. Though a used to be very good friend which I always mingle around with and accompanied her when she see a friend and forget about the time. One night, she message me telling me that one of her friend that saw me wants my number. I hesitated but in the end I say it's alright. Guess what her answer was, "I gave him your number before asking you, lucky you say yes." I was like OMG. After a while, this guy text me. Ever since that day which I remembered clearly what date it is, 14July2004, we started texting each other day and night and slowly we started chatting on the phone. Because of him, I fell in love with the number7 to remind myself of his existence, not in this world but in my heart. People always ask me why 7, I just smile and say because I like 7 that's all. But actually is because of him. We chatted on the phone everyday and don't know since when, I realised I'm falling more and more for him. It's like an uncontrollable feeling. I tried to hide my feelings from him I thought I could. There's this night he asked, you like me don't you? I was surprise by his question because I don't expect him being so straightforward and frank towards me. i admit but guess what he told me. His reply to my feelings was "If you are 2 or 3 years older high chances of us being together. But you're 4 years younger, off my limit" After hearing it, I almost burst into tears but I stop my tears from falling and started joking with him as though I don't give a shit about it. When we hanged up the phone, I was crying like there's no tomorrow. I remembered every night I'll go into my bed room very early and wait for his call. Even if it cost my top up to go zero I still chatted with him. Most of the night we chatted till both of us fell asleep and the next morning he will be there saying "hello" to wake me up. I guess apart from being with hubby, that was the happiest day of my life. However, unhappy things tends to crop up when god is jealous seeing you being happy. He wants to add some pain and misery to make you grow and mature. Both of us stop contacting totally and we never even talk in school when we saw each other. Was like stranger walking pass one another. But one day he called me suddenly, and asked where I was and I told him I'm at my cousin's chalet. The next day he came over to find me and stayed overnight. We played poker the whole night. First there was 5 person, then one went to bed, then another went to bed, and another one. All that was left was he and me. We were like talking about everything that can be talked about. That was the only time we were so close, yet so far. He even asked me to compare my palm size with him, and my only chance to hold his hands. The once and the only. Both of us were tired at six. There was only one bed in the room, my cousin was sleeping on one side so he said he will sleep on the floor. He gave me the pillow and I gave him the blanket at first he insist of me taking the blanket becos the room was really cold but I said I can share with my cousin. Turn out, I was shivering throughout the night. So stupid of me. I still missed those times when we were still contacting. Happiness don't last long I guess. I regretted letting my parents confiscate my phone that time becos he just sent me his new number. If not becos of that, I'll still be contacting him. Sighs. I guess he won't remember me either.
This is just a small part of memory that is hidden in my heart for a long time ever since 14July2004. Quite a long time already I guess, but I'll never forget. I was so attracted to his voice, his eyes, the way he talks and everything. But I know this will never happen again. If it does, I don't even know what can I talk to him about. ):
Do you know that I still think of you?
Do you know that I still miss you?
So tired after work. It's like it used to be happy going to work but it's not now. I just hate what ryan always say. It hurts la. Sighs. Lucky my wonderful hubby is always there to be my venting machine. I love you dear boy.