Everything are like are packed up together.
I can't breathe, fucking stress.
I thought I can cope with it but seriously I can't.
I want to get out of this stupid stressful world.
I just don't feel like going to school ANYMORE ~
But I have to because of my parents.
They put in so much effort in me, no matter how tired they are,
they still work to provide me with whatever I want in the future.
I know, I understand, that's why I'm still hanging on.
Just because of them.
They love me and care of me , I too.
I don't want to be disappointed if I tell them I want to stop studying.
I don't think I can stand another moment of seeing their disappointed face.
It's been months when I see them in disappointment.
It hurts me badly , so I don't want that to happen.
NEVER ~!!!
I keep telling myself I have to hang on.
I've to do better, I've to get good grades.
But no matter how hard I tried it's like it isn't enough at all.
It's like it's never gonna be enough no matter how much effort I've put in.
There will always someone that can do better and really much more better.
Every time when I see that, I fucking feel like killing myself.
I hold back my tears every single time but this time I can't .
It's the last two blocks for Year2 sem1 but I still fucking hell stress.
I seriously never ever thought that I can't cope with the stress in school.
But the fact proves that, I can't. And really can't
I've never felt so stress in my whole life before not even for O' levels.
I just hate the feeling, I just wish to kill myself and end of everything.
I don't have to do work, don't have to submit assignments, don't have to present.
Don't have to see my parents and those who care for me in disappointment.
I don't have to care how others feel because I'm not around anymore.
I just want to run away, as far as I can.
From everything that I'm unable to cope, the stress, the work, the projects.
Even if I don't kill myself, all these are killing me already.
):