I thought I could be strong. Strong enough to not cry even if I miss bby alot. When I sent bby off I told myself that I will not cry in front of him. I want my bby bby to be strong and not emotional that's why I have to be strong myself too. I did it. I did not cry in front of him but still I cried somewhere else. I was thinking of him the whole day every second. I just can't stop thinking. It's like it just feel so different. Even though usually he stay at home and I go over to his house myself. Or when we quarreled and decided not to meet, I know I will definitely get to meet him the next day. But now, I have to wait for 2 weeks so that I can see him. I don't know how am I going to take it but I guess it will be really hard for me.
I see him almost everyday for the past two years, he accompanied me home almost everyday for these two years, he talked to me on the phonie till I fall asleep for these two years. And now suddenly he won't be doing all these already. It made me feel so lost so alone. While I was on my way home today, I realised I needed bby alot. More than I can imagine. The moment I saw him calling me tears just started forming in my eyes. I missed him so badly. I want him here right now by my side so badly. But I know it's impossible.
All I want is to go to school and home everyday. I don't want to think of him and suddenly start crying because I miss him too much. It feels like I'm losing him but I know I'm not. I just don't like the feeling of not able to see him. I pray hard for these two weeks to pass quickly so that I can get to see him asap. Without him nagging and messaging me it's like losing part of me already.
Some may think that it's plain stupid to feel all these and to cry when he is just in army and not leaving me. I don't care what you guys think of it. If you think that I'm being stupid this means that you never have a guy that really cares for you and put you in first place no matter what happen.
He rather not get anything for himself to get whatever I want. He goes on diet to save money so that he can bring me to somewhere I want to have dinner at. When I'm carving for some food, he won't hesitate to get the food for me even if he is really tired. He tried all the means and ways to help me with anything I needed help. When he sees that I'm feeling terrible he feels heartbroken. Even though he shouts at me, deep down all the shoutings is trying to keep me by his side and not pushing me away. No matter what happen, he is always the first to be there, to support me, to help me, to lend me a shoulder & a listening ear, to be there to love me for who I am. This is how great my boyfriend is, how wonderful he is as a boyfriend, how caring he is towards me. I'm always first in his heart though he know he will never be first in mine. He don't expect a return but all he wants is me to be good and sweet to him. This is how my boyfriend is. So if you think it's stupid, think twice before you say so ... ... ...